Husbands, Love Your Wives

May 13, 2016

Surgery has started. We have had wonderful staff and doctors. Everyone here has been so good to us. The timing has been perfect and we have not had one problem. We only slept a few hours, but we are thankful that the surgery got scheduled so quickly, so it’s fine. We won’t hear an update until 10 am and he will be in there until, at least, 1 pm.

As I suspected, watching them wheel my husband away from me was the hardest thing I’ve done, yet. Not because I’m afraid, but because I miss him already. I just want to be with him. The kids want to be with him. These next five hours are going to be exceedingly long. Let me attempt to tell you why…

Ephesians 5:23, 25 says,

“For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church and He is the savior of the body. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.”

Clay and I had a conversation about this just a few weeks ago, well before we had any idea what was about to happen. When I read this scripture one day, I really thought about how the relationship between a husband and a wife is meant to be a picture of the relationship with Jesus and the church. The picture should be one of love and support, undying affection, total intimacy, trust, completeness, and more. I recently read in a book that some people don’t associate with this reference of Christ and the church because they have not experienced this type of love in their marriage. I was thanking Clay for loving me the way he does because it helps me understand the way Jesus loves me.

Since the minute we realized that we were made for each other, Clay has adored me. Just ask anyone that knows us very well. He gets teased a lot by his friends because he would rather be with me than do anything else. He always considers me above himself. He waits for me patiently. He is affectionate toward me, always making me feel protected. He stares at me. Seriously. We’ve been married for 17 years and the man still stares at me. We will be sitting in the same room, and I will totally be tuned out to him for several minutes. Then I’ll look up and he’ll just be staring at me with the most affectionate look on his face. He loves me. And, I promise, it is not because I am easy to love. It is because he loves the Lord and God has created this beautiful love for me inside of him. It’s because we are one person.

He told me the other day that he needed some time alone. I said, “Ok. I’ll go downstairs for a while.” He said, “No. I want you to stay.” To which I replied, “Um, you just said you wanted to be alone.” In the most sincere and matter-of-fact voice he said, “Yea, but being with you is the same as being alone. We’re the same person.” He says things like that all the time. For 17 years, he has showered me with that type of affection. I have never one single time doubted his love for me. I have never questioned if he is faithful to me. I have always known how he feels about me.

He is the same way with our kids. He plays with them. He pays attention to them. He listens to them. And, he takes time to tell them how he feels about them. They have never had to feel insecure about their father’s love for them.

As Satan has attacked the church and God’s kingdom over time, you can obviously see the things that he has attacked the hardest. One of them is the family. Marriage. The divorce rates are out of control and it is because Satan doesn’t want people to see that picture of the relationship of Jesus to the church. He doesn’t want us to be able to associate the love of Christ with something tangible. If our marriages are messed up and our husbands don’t know how to love their wives, then we have a harder time understanding how Jesus loves us. The enemy knows what he’s doing. Don’t let him win. Husbands, love our wives so they and your children can see this beautiful picture of the love of Christ.

So, as we laid in a very uncomfortable hospital bed together last night, we didn’t feel the need to pour out our hearts and say a bunch of stuff we’ve never said. We just snuggled and I thanked him for not waiting until now to let me know how he feels about me. Nothing is unsaid between us. Nothing. We didn’t have to apologize or make up or confess anything. All he has to do is look at me and I know exactly what he’s thinking. He’s spent the last 17 years showing me and telling me how he feels about me. There is nothing more to say.

I’m not telling you this to be sappy. I’m telling you this to implore you to love your family today. Husbands, love your wives. Make sure they know how much you love them. Love your children. Don’t leave words unsaid or affections unshown (I realize unshown is not a word, but it sounded better.) Take every opportunity to make sure the people in your life know exactly how you feel. Sacrifice for them. Put them ahead of yourself. Your actions speak much louder than your words. If you ever find yourself in a similar situation, I hope you can have this same feeling. I told Clay last night that he doesn’t have to say anything because I know exactly how he feels….I’ve always known.

Leave a Reply to Debby Denton Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


  1. Linda Boe' says:

    Such a testimony, Kristy and one that can influence many through the situation the Lord has allowed. We love you and are praying with all our hearts. Linda

  2. Susie Hoffpauir says:

    We are praying for your family. Asking the Great Healer for a miracle. Praying for all of MD Anderson and Clay’s team of medical professionals.

  3. Jackie cook says:

    Beautiful Kristy, Thanks for sharing and updates .our love and prayers🙏❤️

  4. Kaykene Hand says:

    This is a beautiful word. I understand the comfort of that in my spouse. Thank u for making it real how important we acknowledge that special love everyday. I am too so blessed beyond what I deserve when God placed
    To ya ll coach hand ha but to me david in my life. Your sharing has been a blessing and you have said things that I ve possibly never tjought of in that way. Know that Hod is truly using u. Prayers are going up for ur husband your family this operation. May u be blessed.

  5. Beverly Gremillion says:

    Wow – thank you so much for that – so happy that you have a husband that treats you this way. What a wonderful example for your Children. GOD speed Clay – HIS hand is upon you – Prayers will be lifted all day.

    Beverly Gremillion

  6. KATHY WALLS says:


  7. Kathleen Robillard. says:

    As I read your post, I am so touched by the love that you share. Until today’s post I didn’t really know why I was so touched, but now I do. It is like you are talking about that special godly love that that not many people have. I lost my Husband to cancer 5 years ago, we were married for 49 years and not one day went by that he didn’t say “I love you” for times or more. I saw love in every look and in every smile. I am praying for your sweet husband and for you and your children. May God wrap his loving arms around you.

  8. Andrea Diez says:

    Your blogs r so inspirating! My husband and I have been so blessed by them! We r praying for y’all! Jesus is holding y’all tight in his arms! ❤️

  9. diane marbury says:

    Thanks for sharing this beautiful Love story. Prompt me to show my Love to my Husband more.

  10. Mona McDaniels says:

    Oh, this made me cry, that is so beautiful !! Love you guys, keep the faith, as i can see how strong it is !!

  11. Debbie Dougherty says:

    Please look at this. I saw it last night on the news. There will be a full report on 60 minutes Sunday I believe.

  12. Jean raggio says:

    That’s beautiful!

  13. Addie Head says:

    Mr. Clay is a very sweet Man . I know God will do whatever he can to protect him. I went to school with his kids and played volleyball with his daughter and I know they are great people who don’t deserve this but with the help of God I know things will get better ! I am praying for A well recovery! In Jesus Name ! Amen!

  14. Lisa says:

    God is with you and your family.

  15. Nicky Chenevert says:

    I’ve read your post and I have to say you are such an inspiration. As I read this, it seemed you were writing about my marriage. It’s such an awesome feeling. I’ve had my share of no so great marriages. But I prayed for Clint and God blessed me.
    My heart goes out to you and your kiddos. I’m praying for you.r family. I pray it’s Gods will to heal Clay here on earth.
    You are amazing!!!

    Nicky Chenevert

  16. Donna says:

    So beautifully written! I’m so happy you’ve found this true love and am praying for Clay , you, and your beautiful, loving family. Hugs to you Janai,
    Donna Kimball Lerma

  17. Molly Milne says:

    I went to Immanuel Baptist Church with Clay’s family for many years and have been friends for many years. He is a perfect example to everyone of how to be like Christ. I love you Clay, Ms.Molly.

  18. daddyozark says:

    This is such a blessing, encouragement and challenge to me as a husband. Thank you for sharing from your heart, which reflects the heart of the Father God. Although we have never met, we are praying for your precious family!

  19. Debby Denton says:

    This letter was so touching! A true love for each other and your family.